Settling into kindergarten: a parent guide to the first two weeks
A child crying at the door, a parent crying in the car. What can you do at home and at school in the first two weeks of kindergarten, and when should you worry?
Every September we see the same scene at our kindergarten door: a child wrapped around a parent's leg, the parent looking at the teacher, unsure what to do. This scene is normal. For a 3–5-year-old, spending hours in an unfamiliar room with unfamiliar adults is a big change. The good news: for most children settling in takes two to four weeks, and there is a lot a parent can do.
The week before school
Make school a concrete place for your child. If you can, walk past the building and show them the garden from outside. Use the teacher's name. Start a sleep and breakfast routine close to school hours; first-week tiredness combined with irregular sleep makes goodbyes much harder.
- Pack the school bag together; let your child fold the spare clothes.
- Let them take a small object from home, such as a handkerchief or a keyring.
- Do not use school as a reward or a threat.
The first days: short and predictable
Our kindergarten starts with short days for the first two weeks. At first parents can wait at the classroom door, then in the garden; we decide on the moment to leave together with the teacher. Most important is that the goodbye is short and the same every day. Hug, say when you will be back in terms your child understands ("after lunch") and leave. Slipping away unseen makes that day easier but undermines your child's trust the next day.
Back at home
Most children answer "What did you do today?" with "nothing". Ask concrete questions instead: "What was for lunch?", "Who did you play with in the garden?". Reading the weekly menu on our website beforehand helps. In the first weeks it is expected that your child is crankier, more tired or more babyish in the evenings; following new rules all day takes a lot of energy.
When to worry
Crying at morning goodbyes is common in the first weeks and gets shorter. We suggest talking to the teacher and the counsellor if, after the fourth week, morning crying is getting longer rather than shorter; if your child also cries for long periods during the day, does not eat or does not play at all; or if there is a clear, lasting regression in sleep or toileting at home. These signs do not mean "a problem"; they only show that the settling-in plan should be adjusted for this child.
Settling in is not measured by not crying, but by a child feeling safe enough at school to start playing.
To get to know our kindergarten, join a meet-us morning or book a campus tour; details of our settling-in programme are on the kindergarten page.
